I have the same issue and it’s driving me nuts. I love EZdrummer but this is bananas.
I can adjust the velocity curve in EZD3 but I don’t want all my notes to hit at full velocity all the time. I just want to hear this at an acceptable volume compared to my DAW or just anything else played on the computer. I have all the my triggers and pads up as loud as they’ll go and it has not really helped much.